what do i say?








what can i say?








simply, im anxious.
i used to know what would happen tomorrow.
but now i dont even know whats gonna happen after i write this sentence.
and my whole life is consumed by these questions now.
i cant work, i cant sleep, i cant eat, i cant breathe, i can barely look at this screen.
whats happening to me?

i guess what i would really like now is safety.
safety in that i knew what i would have to do tomorrow.
reassurance i guess is a better word.
and how little is that word actually applied in this world?
that someone being reassured is so rare?

i guess thats what attracted me to you in the first place.
i knew you would be there.
but with all this happening, i dont understand anymore.
and i cant see past the smoke from the fire.
im not saying i dont want you.
what im saying is i want to feel your hand in mine, grabbing through the smoke.
a signal to tell me:
im okay.
because im scared.